Do you realise that there is more to beer drinking than Real Ale?

If the answer to any of these questions is ‘Yes’ then, why not come out. Admit that you sometimes fancy a nice refreshing lager and join the latest movement that is sweeping the country

 

The

GOLD

Movement!

 

GOLD was formed in 1996, to further the interests of lager beer drinkers and its members are required to follow the ten Golden aims and objectives, which state that members should:

 1. Buy the Grand Poobah a drink whenever they meet him at a watering hole.

2. Drink lager at all times and encourage others to drink lager at all times.

3. Go to Beer Festivals as often as possible and enquire of them what lager they have on offer, fully expecting there not being any - but it being a good wind up.

4. Make the acquaintance of Camra members and try to educate them about lager drinking, and on the assumption that they need educating about lager drinking.

5. Note the location and quality of exceptional lagers and notify fellow members.

6. Encourage new members and promote the formation of other GOLD branches throughout the country and abroad.

8. Persuade landlords and landladies of the need for quality lager beer at fair prices.

and finally, the last and most difficult of the aims and objectives,

 10. Behave impeccably, exude charm and speak with great wisdom when wearing their GOLD shirt, remembering always to remove it when inebriated.

Lager is defined as any beer that is not erroneously called ‘Real Ale’, is gassy and gold in colour, often having a stupid European or Australian name, is preferably served chilled and always in a glass. It also includes Nigerian lagers such as Guinness but not live beers or beers that come from Yorkshire, (because they haven’t got a clue about good beer,) nor designer beers that are drunk straight from the bottle by posers.

The reporting of any instances (except for genuine research reasons) of ‘Real Ale’ drinking by members is mandatory and will cost the offender a pint.